Many people have asked if they possess that particular set of qualities that allow themselves to proudly wear the label of "Office-Bob;" in order to assist them I have compiled the following list of indicators that you are, in fact, an O-B:

LOCATION:

1a) You work in a cubicle (bonus points if it has less than three sides, as that usually means you're staring at another O-B across from you).

1b) When you receive a promotion you're not as excited by the prospect of money or stock options as by the fact that you'll now be in a cubicle with three walls, which implies a "doorway."

1c) You rush out to buy a curtain rod and curtains -- or perhaps a large flag -- to use as a door to your cubicle.

1d) Your cubicle walls are less than chin height.

1e) You've ever worked in a combo-cube (aka "quad") where you shared space with 3 or more co-inhabitants.

1f) When you bring visitors to your place of work and show them rows upon rows of cubicles you spread out your arms and say, "20 miles...20 miles."*

BEHAVIOUR:

2a) You know what "prairie-dogging" means (bonus points if you actually do it).

2b) You've installed a webcam on top of your cubicle wall so you don't have to "prairie-dog."

2c) You've had Facilities/Office Services install one of those large security mirrors on the wall so you can use it to avoid "prairie-dogging."

2d) You've got a mirror on your monitor/desktop so you can watch for managers walking up behind you.

2e) If you don't have a mirror (or even if you do), you'll keep a spreadsheet or other work-related material minimized on your computer desktop so, at a moment's notice, you can bring it up and make it look like you're hard at work.

TECHNICAL SK1LLZ:

3a) You're the first line of computer support, whether you work in IT or not.

3b) You never bother calling IT because you can fix your computer quicker/better than they can.

3c) You can change toner cartridges in every printer in the place.

3d) You regularly surf sites like Ars Technica for information (no bonus points for doing this at work, since we're assuming everyone surfs on company time).

3e) You spell it "pr0n" and often say it the same way.

3f) You sp34k 133t (and probably didn't give the spelling in this section's title a second thought).

MISCELLANEOUS:

4a) You justify the bad coffee at work by saying "Oh well, at least it's free."

SCORING:

If you said "Yes" to any of the items listed above, congratulations on being an Office-Bob! We're looking at designing some sort of commemorative certificate or t-shirt but until then, be secure in the private knowledge that you're not alone...

* This also means that you're an O-B with a taste for classic science fiction, but that's an issue for a questionnaire about being a geek.