August 2007

Monthly Archive

“From my parents’ basement in Wyoming, I STAB AT THEE!”

Posted by Office-Bob on 29 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: General Craziness

If I disappear suddenly, this message will serve as a warning to those who would dare follow in my footsteps…

Don’t fuck with Trekkies.

It started innocently enough; someone had posted a clip on YouTube showing what the drydock scene from STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE would have been like if Jerry Goldsmith’s original music had been used (apparently the director, Robert Wise, didn’t like the original music because it didn’t have a definable theme). The music is good, but I agree with the general consensus that it feels unfinished and I’m glad that Goldsmith reworked it.

Here’s the clip:

My big mistake was when someone asked why the scene was so long and I made the following comment:

What were they thinking? They were thinking that they needed to give all the Trekkies something to masturbate over after making them wait so long for a movie…I saw ST:TMP in Seattle and was amazed at the number of people who were shedding tears of joy during this scene.

Hooboy, did I open a can of blood worms…

The first response to my comment was:

Sorry it wasn’t up to your flashy BANG, BANG IN YOUR FACE, QUICK jump editing your soooo use to these days. Granted there were lots of scenes that had dragged themselves out but this was not one of them. This was a very elegant, yet powerful scene. It works just fine.

That’s cool - you disagree with my opinion and although it’s possible to have an overlong scene composed of quick cuts, it’s a free country, right? We’ll just ignore the fact that you’ve decided, without knowing anything about me, that I love the quick and choppy style of editing that passes for movie-making these days (for the record, that’s one of the things I’m always bitching about with movies like THE BOURNE AQUARIUM or whatever the fuck it’s called).

Today, a second reply to my comment was unleashed onto the world:

Maybe you should ask why?? You don’t know what we went through in the ’60s. Or maybe you think you do. Maybe you read a book or two, so you know it all. Think again, do some real research. Better yet, talk to people who lived back then. (What a horror)!

(This reminds me of the joke, “How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb? YOU WOULDN’T KNOW, MAN…YOU WEREN’T THERE!

I haven’t decided if the second response deserves a reply, but if I decide to post one on Youtube this is what I’ll say:

“Dear Stefan:

Unlike some people I not only lived through the ’60s, I actually remember them. I also remember watching, and enjoying, STAR TREK, and while I don’t consider myself a Trekkie or Trekker (although I do know the name of Captain Pike’s horse) I still maintain that the drydock scene was too long.

As far as “what we went through,” it’s too bad you weren’t at the same theatre I was for the premiere of ST:TMP; I kid you not that a large number of fans were in fact audibly crying and going on about how they had been waiting so long for this movie…all the while I’m watching the screen and thinking to myself that the camera and model work were good and the music was great, but the scene was dragging along.

I probably could have phrased my comment in a more civil and coherent manner, but I still believe the drydock scene went on too long for no other reason than as a sop for the rabid fans…I’ll even expand upon it and say that, in my opinion, the V’Ger flyover scene was too long as well.

Live Long and Prosper.”

What say you, Gentle Readers…should I risk the agonies of the Vulcan Death Grip* and post my rebuttal, or should I let sleeping internet dogs (and rabid Trekkies) lie?

*Yes, I know there’s no such thing as the Vulcan Death Grip.

Popularity: 26% [?]

A haka haka burnin’ love

Posted by Office-Bob on 25 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: General Craziness

I first became aware of the Haka when I was employed at THE. GREATEST. GAME. SWEATSHOP. EVER. and we worked on a rugby title; it was my first experience with rugby, the All Blacks, and the haka:

There are many variations of the haka - even the All Blacks have more than one version - but I recently found one that I think is the best ever, especially when one of the dancers loses part of his clothing:

If those little guys stay in the oven too long, I guess they’d become All Blacks themselves.

Popularity: 40% [?]

Today’s episode of “What’s wrong with people these days?” may be brought to you by CUPE and the City of Vancouver

Posted by Office-Bob on 24 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: General Craziness, Rants

My wife sent me an e-mail this morning to let me know she’d been hit by a dumpster.

Read that again…she didn’t hit a dumpster, it hit her.

Did I mention that she wasn’t even in her car at the time?

She’d parked her car in a legal spot (according to her) and a garbage truck came by to empty dumpsters; the guy pushed a dumpster at her (hitting her, but not very hard) and yelled that she was parked too close to the dumpster.

She’s called the company to complain and we’ll see what happens - personally, I think she should call the police to see if she can file assault charges.

Was this guy having a bad day? Was he under extra pressure because of the Vancouver civic workers strike? I don’t know, and I really don’t give a damn…that sort of behaviour is completely inexcusable.

I’ll post updates when I have them.

Popularity: 46% [?]

Keeping the US safe from terrorists, one Vehicle Identification Number at a time

Posted by Office-Bob on 22 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: General Craziness

While I don’t fly very often, the last few times have been annoying because of the length of time it’s taken to clear Customs (and we’re just talking round trips between Canada and the US) so I decided to apply for the NEXUS program - a cross-border initiative where, once approved, you are issued a card containing biometric data that can be used to speed you through checkpoints.

Since both the US and Canada are involved, there are two different online forms you can use to apply…the US version first requires you to create an account in GOES (Global Online Enrollment System) and their requirements for creating passwords are some of the most restrictive I’ve ever seen. I’m sure most of you have run across situations where a password has to be a certain length and can’t use certain characters, but for GOES it’s a bit more complicated:

1) Minimum 8, maximum 12 characters

2) Must start with a number

3) Must contain a “non-standard” character such as % $ # @ ^ & * ( )

Well, you get the idea.

I finished setting up my account and began filling out the NEXUS application. It took a while because there are a lot of sections where you were entering the same information over and over (While I suppose it’s possible in BizarroWorld that my birthdate wouldn’t match the birthdate on my passport, it’s pretty unlikely - then again, perhaps they’re trying to catch people in a lie). I was doing okay until I got to the second to last section, where they asked for my car’s VIN (Vehicle Identification Number).

Ahem…nice of them to warn me ahead of time that I might need something like this.

Considering that I didn’t have my car, or even my insurance papers at hand, I was stuck. I decided to save what I’d done so far and then come back to it later once I’d had a chance to get the information, while hoping they weren’t going to spring any other surprises on me.

I was rather annoyed at completing 90% of the application and being stuck in the final stretch, but on a hunch I decided to bring up the Canadian version of the NEXUS application form, and discovered:

1) No special system account registration needed (meaning no funky password hoodoo)

2) No vehicle information required (I don’t understand why the VIN was requested in the first place since NEXUS covers land, air and sea travel - and for 2 out of 3 of those I’m unlikely to be driving, not to mention the question of how a rental car is handled)

So, I filled out the Canadian application, printed it off and stuck it in the mail, logged back into GOES with my funky password and cancelled the US application.

So, my friends, what have we learned from this story? It’s quite simple:

The reason terrorists get into the US via Canada is because up here, we don’t track Vehicle Identification Numbers.

I wonder if Michael Chertoff’s gut is aching right now?

Popularity: 18% [?]