April 2009

Monthly Archive

Open Letter to a well-known “houseguest”

Posted by Office-Bob on 22 Apr 2009 | Tagged as: General Craziness

I know this is going to be hard to hear; please believe me when I tell you that I thought long and hard about whether or not I should tell you exactly how I feel. Still, sometimes we have to do the hard things even when we don’t want to.

Consider this an intervention.

I know things have been hard for you since you were injured while serving in the military. A lot of people forgot about you and you might have simply faded away, no one being the wiser, until Ben found you and invited you to help him at his place of employment. The work invigorated you and soon you were popping up all over town, being your usual noisy self, making people sit up and take notice whenever you appeared.

After a while it became almost a requirement to invite you; no matter where we went, you were there waiting for us – sometimes hiding in the background while trying not to draw attention to yourself, other times almost demanding that we notice you. “Here I am,” your presence seemed to cry out. “Aren’t I wonderful?”

Like any houseguest, though, eventually your “staying power” went from quirk, to minor annoyance, to aggravation…and a lot of us who used to eagerly wait for you to show up now began to dread running into you.

I’d been meaning to tell you how I felt for some time now, but the final straw was when I noticed you were hogging the limelight in a British TV show I was watching – and not being content with the occasional scene, you were often showing up multiple times in the same episode.

That’s when I knew I had to say something.

You need to learn from the experiences of our mutual friend Alan – He overstayed his welcome, became the butt of countless jokes and finally, when his antics were too obnoxious to be ignored anymore, he was fired. I’m not sure if anyone in his professional circle knows where he is now and, honestly, I don’t know if anyone really cares.

I’d like to see you leave gracefully before that happens to you; by leaving on your own terms perhaps you can make people forget how overexposed you’ve become and then, at some point in the future, you will be welcomed back with open arms. We will miss you, of course, but if you stick around much longer some of us – including me - may actually come to loathe you. Do you really want that? I don’t think you do.

Goodbye and good luck, Wilhelm. Take care, and perhaps we’ll meet again in the future.

Popularity: 39% [?]

Farewell to my red plastic friend, a sacrifice on the altar of the Church of Caffeine

Posted by Office-Bob on 19 Apr 2009 | Tagged as: General Craziness

A little over a year ago I was asked to do a presentation for an Event Planner course at the Art Institute of Vancouver; when I was finished, they gave me a travel mug as a gesture of appreciation.

It was one of the better mugs I’ve had over the years; the lid was a simple twist open/closed with no springs or hinges to break, and the metal liner meant that while it didn’t keep my coffee as hot as a vacuum mug would, it kept it warm enough.

Not too long ago I noticed a sloshing noise that would occur after I’d dumped out my old coffee and rinsed out the mug; I didn’t pay it any mind until recently when I realized what had happened – somehow, the seam between the metal liner and plastic shell had opened, however slightly, and it was allowing liquid to get inside the mug.

If I were someone who drank his coffee black this might have been acceptable but I use cream and sugar, so some of that mixture was getting in there. Have you ever left a mug of coffee with cream and sugar sitting for a day or two and gotten a whiff? It’s not all that pleasant and now I noticed that my red travel mug, a gift from the AI students, smelled the same way.

I decided that I was going to have to say goodbye to the mug.

Thus began the search for a new mug to use at my desk. I knew that as nice as the AI mug was I wouldn’t be getting that particular style again because I didn’t want to have to be constantly wondering when the new one was going to develop a leak between the walls.

I was in Costco recently and saw they had a 2-pack of Contigo Autoseal vacuum mugs; I’d heard good things about them and decided to give them a try and I have found what is possibly, for me, the perfect travel mug – it’s metal with no gaps for gunk to collect, it’s double-walled and the vacuum insulation keeps my coffee hot, and the lid is leakproof (so far) so I don’t have to worry if I accidentally knock it over.

Now if I could just get people at work to make a fresh pot of coffee when they take the last cup, life would be almost complete.

Popularity: 25% [?]