Like every good pet owner, I try to take care of my pet; this includes giving him the occasional treat.

In my case, I’m owned by a rabbit named Antoine* and his treat of choice is an item called Kaytee Healthy Bits.


Remember, Kids, Say No to Crack!

Now, while I understand that a treat by its very nature is something that you really like but don’t get very often (or at least, you should enjoy it in moderation) I am at a loss to explain just how much Antoine likes this stuff.

He really likes it.

He likes it as in, “I would KILL YOUR MOTHER to get more of this stuff.”

Around the house, we call it “Bunny Crack.”

I’ve owned rabbits in the past, and each one has had a “sweet tooth” for something different - remind me sometime to tell you the story about how Toby sent me to the ER to get stitches because I sucked on a cough drop - but I’ve never seen a pet go bugfuck for something like Antoine does when he knows he’s going to be getting a piece (or two) of this…hell, he starts to get excited when he hears the crinkle of the plastic bag!

There is one problem with this product, which is that it’s not carried in any local pet store - if I want to buy it I have to go to PetSmart, and the closest store is located about 30 minutes away. I thought I’d found a loophole in the fact that PetSmart has online shopping but alas, this was not to be - all orders are shipped from the US and while PetSmart can bring the stuff in, import restrictions don’t allow private citizens to do so.

After seeing how much Antoine loves the stuff, though, I’m thinking this “import restriction” is really in place to ensure that PetSmart keeps making money from it…and I’d bet that Canada Customs gets a kickback to keep it in place.

I thought dogs were masters of begging for treats but I feel that since bunnies have a slight edge over them in the “cute fuzzy creature” department, dogs are now relegated to second-tier suckup status.

I know I’m an enabler, but I ask you…how could I possibly say “No” to this guy?

Oh well, as addictions go I guess it could be worse; at least I’ve never heard of rabbits sucking dick for crack money…

…and if you have, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.





*Full name, “Louisiana Back Bay Bayou Bunny Bordelais a la Antoine.” Once again, my cartoon trivia raises its geeky head…

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